how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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