you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
If I die, sorry about rent.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
