Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
