so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
