Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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