That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
