i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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