So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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