Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
