I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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