I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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