idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
