Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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