i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
And then the night went full on bisexual.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
