Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize