Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
