bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize