wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
