ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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