i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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