I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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