You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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