Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
He kissed a someone with a penis
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize