That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
