Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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