so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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