I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
