I puked a lego.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
