Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
