You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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