how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
