If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
We had sex on a dog bed..
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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