Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
