I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
