Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
