My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
