Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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