New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
