Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
