Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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