You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
