I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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