I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
ok first of all what the fuck
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
