I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
