I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
