talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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