I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
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