Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
