She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
never play flip cup with pint glasses
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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