I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
