I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
