now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
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