You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
