We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
