sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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