Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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