it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize