I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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