She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
